When Jokers Become Tickle Monsters
by MissFeral
Summary: Basically, this story is about The Joker going on a tickling spree. Don't like, don't read. Reviews are greatly appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

The Joker opened the refrigerator, finding only crumbs inside. He and his henchmen were starving. It had been a long time since they had stolen any money to buy food. The complaints of his hungry assistants were starting to get on his nerves. One member of his gang was Dolly – a beautiful blond bombshell who loved living a life of crime. She lived for The Joker and would gladly follow him anywhere. However, even she was starting to get bummed out by the lack of food.

"Hey Jokey, I think we need help," she told him.

"One more day!" Joker blurted out, holding up a single finger. "We'll have to wait just one more day and then you'll be able to stuff that pretty face of yours all you want!"

"I hope so. If I have to wait much longer, you may end up with an anorexic victim on your hands.

"Aww…Dolly," Joker cooed sadly, putting a comforting arm around the young woman.

"I trust you, baby. Honest I do. I just get so cranky when I'm hungry."

Joker pulled her closer and sniffed her hair. "Mmm…what yummy-smelling shampoo you use. What's it called?"

"It's called 'Apples and Lavender'. And no, Joker. You can't eat it."

"Drats…" he huffed.

"Oh, I just thought of something," Dolly said, placing a manicured finger to her chin. "The Penguin is in town. Maybe he'll know what to do."

"That waddling pipsqueak?" scoffed Joker. "What does he know?"

"He knows every trick in the book when it comes to umbrellas!"

The Joker was still skeptical. Sure, he had worked with The Penguin before but the pair didn't always see things eye to eye.

"I'm gonna give him a call and tell him to come. That okay with you, babe?" Dolly asked.

"Eh, whatever."

"You don't have to call him because he's already here," said one of the male henchmen.

"Since when?" Joker asked.

"Since now. And no, Joker! You can't eat me either," Penguin said, as he waddled into the room and took a drag of his cigarette.

"Hi, Pengy!" Dolly cooed.

"Hi, Pengy!" Joker said, mimicking her.

The Penguin grumbled something under his breath and gazed at the different people in the room. He was having money issues as well and that was why he had come to see Joker. Perhaps the two of them could figure something out.

"Clearly, we need to swipe some cash from somebody. The question is, how can we do this without getting caught?" Joker wondered.

"I'm so glad you're here, Penguin," Dolly said, excitedly. "I wouldn't want you to miss out! We're going to do things!"

"Is that so? Well, goody. I like to do things," Penguin said, smirking at the female henchman.

"How are you going to steal money without getting caught, boss?" asked a male thug.

"We need to go someplace where there are lots of people," Joker explained, pacing back and forth across the floor.

Dolly picked up a newspaper and pointed to a column. "Look, Jokey…this says there is going to be a big wedding tonight. Lots of people will be there, including millionaire Bruce Wayne! We could steal enough money to buy our own restaurant!"

"Good thinking, my little plum. But first I have to figure out a way to distract everyone so we can get away with it."

"Got any ideas, babe?"

The Joker reached up to scratch his green hair as he thought. "Hmm...I'll need some time to figure that out."

The Penguin snarled at him. "Well, do hurry up! My stomach is growling so loud I can barely hear myself think!"

"You don't have to think, Pengy! It is I who must think."

"But my stomach…"

"Then tell your stomach to shut up!"

"Who are you telling to _shut up!?_ "

Dolly jumped between the two villains before they could start fighting.

"Cut it out, you two!" she said, using her hands to push the men apart. "This isn't helping us with our problem. Joker, you have to think of a way to distract those people long enough for us to take their valuables."

"I know that, Dolly! Will you get off my back?" he shouted.

"Listen, I'm calling a timeout. We all need some time to think," a male thug announced.

The villains reluctantly obliged to this suggestion, sitting down on their behinds to concentrate. The Joker thought and thought and thought. Suddenly, he got a great idea.

"I've got it!" Joker said, jumping to his feet. "Oh my, it's the best idea I've ever had…the most sneaky, devious, delicious…"

"Well, for goodness' sake! Tell me what it is!" Penguin ordered, as he adjusted his top hat and chomped his cigarette holder.

The Joker grinned wickedly. "I could tell you…but I think it would be more fun to _show you."_

"So show me already!" Penguin barked, becoming impatient.

The Joker laughed and ran into his room. "Everyone come in here quickly!" he called, motioning with his hand.

The Penguin, Dolly, and the goons followed Joker into the bedroom to see what his plan was. Then Joker reached under the bed and took out some rope, grinning devilishly at Penguin.

"Get over here, Pengy," he said, "Lie down on the bed and stretch out your hands and feet."

The Penguin raised an eyebrow, becoming suspicious. "What for?" he asked.

"I'm going to _show_ you my idea," replied Joker, smiling impishly.

"Alright, but hurry up! I've haven't got all day." With that, The Penguin did as he was told. He lay down on the bed and allowed Joker to tie his wrists and ankles to the bed posts.

"There," said Joker, stepping back to admire his work. "Can you move?"

The Penguin tried to move his arms and legs but it was no use. He couldn't move an inch. The ropes were so thick that they could only be cut with a knife. "Not at all," he replied, slightly nervous.

The Joker laughed with excitement and rubbed his hands together. He walked over to the helpless Penguin and stood over his midsection. Then Joker ripped open Penguin's clothes, exposing his bare stomach.

"Oh, I can see where this is going," Dolly giggled.

"Wait a minute!" Penguin shouted, "What have I gotten myself into!?"

The Joker ignored that question and continued with his work. He dipped his index finger into Penguin's bellybutton and wiggled it around.

The Penguin burst into hysterical laughter. The cigarette holder fell out of his mouth and fell to the floor. His eyes filled with tears within seconds and his cheeks grew flushed. He begged for Joker to stop but he was shown no mercy.

The Joker's henchmen found this terribly hilarious. Dolly thought it was adorable but she couldn't help wincing. The Joker had tickled her on multiple occasions so she knew what an expert he was. She liked getting attention from Joker but one time she wet herself from laughing. She was totally aware of how much Joker loved to torment people by tickling them senseless. Most of the time, he would show little or no mercy. He was, after all, the clown prince of crime.

The Joker grabbed a feather and began drilling it into Penguin's bellybutton. The poor sap could barely breathe because he was laughing so hard. How he hated himself for being suckered into this predicament.

"AAAAAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WAUGHWAUGHWAUGHWAUGH! NOOO STOOOOP! PLEASE! WAUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JOKER, I'LL KILL YOU!" Penguin screamed, tears pouring down his cheeks.

The Joker laughed right along with him, too cruel to show any compassion. "Coochie coochie coo, Pengy! Tickle tickle tickle! Oooh…somebody is a ticklish little birdie! Yes, he is!"

"Give him the raspberry, Joker!" said a henchman.

"Good idea!" Joker said, leaning down to perform the devilish action.

"Oh, baby, do you think he can survive that?" asked Dolly.

"We'll soon find out!" Joker laughed.

Then he blew a big, loud, wet raspberry on Penguin's tummy.

"AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! PLEASE STOP THAT! IT TICKLES! WAUGHWAUGHWAUGHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

By the time Joker was finished blowing raspberries, Penguin's poor tummy was bright red and glistening with saliva.

"I…I swear…I will m-murder you!" Penguin threatened, gasping for air.

"Save your breath, I'm not finished yet," Joker replied, moving over to his victim's restrained feet. "Tell me, Pengy…how ticklish are these tootsies?"

"Stay away from my feet, you lipstick-wearing goon-face!" shouted Penguin.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. No need for name-calling," Joker said, with a playful wag of his finger. He then removed Penguin's shoes and socks, revealing his smooth bare feet.

"Wow, those feet sure look ticklish!" giggled Dolly.

"Joker, I'm warning you!" Penguin curled up his toes and tried to prepare himself for the inevitable foot tickling.

The Joker grinned evilly and began scribbling his fingers all over Penguin's naked soles, starting at his heels and going all the way up to his toes.

The Penguin exploded with shrieking laughter. His face turned crimson and tears formed rivers down his cheeks. His hair was drenched in sweat.

"WAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PLEASE PLEEEEEASE! I CAN'T STAND IT! NOOO NOT THE ARCHES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHA!" Penguin wailed, as he thrashed and struggled fruitlessly in his bonds.

After a while, Joker decided to switch places again and moved up to Penguin's head. The restrained villain didn't have much time to catch his breath before Joker began tickling his neck. The Penguin squealed like a toddler and scrunched up his shoulders, trying to protect his neck. However, Joker's fingers still snuck in and tickled this spot relentlessly.

"OOOOHHH PLEASE JOKER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! I-I NEED A BREAK! WAAAAAUGH! STOP TICKLING MEEEEE!"

The Joker ignored his pleas for relief and kept on tickling. He tickled Penguin's neck for several minutes before moving back to tickle his feet again.

"He's having trouble breathing, Joker," said Dolly, growing concerned. "Maybe you should let him rest for a bit, okay babe?"

"Aww, but I was having fun!" Joker grumbled, folding his arms across his chest.

Dolly came over and wrapped her arms around Joker. "Don't worry, babe. You'll have a chance to tickle LOTS of people when we get to the wedding!"

The Joker giggled and clapped his hands. "Oh, that will be so much fun! Perhaps Batman will be there! I can't wait to get my hands on him!"

"Do you think Batman is ticklish, boss?" asked a henchman.

"I don't know…but I'd love to find out! Who's with me?"

Everyone cheered in enthusiastic response, except for poor Penguin who was still tied up and gasping for air.

The Joker looked at Dolly and pointed to The Penguin. "My dear, untie that pathetic creature."

As soon as he was freed, Penguin took his umbrella and conked Joker over the head. Joker's eyes rolled back in his head as he fell to the ground with a _splat_. The Penguin glared down at him, aiming his umbrella for another blow.

"That will teach you to torture and humiliate me with tickles!" said Penguin, angrily.

"Be a good sport, Pengy dear!" said Dolly, running to hold his hand. "Just think of how great it will be tonight at the wedding!"

"It will probably be the only wedding in Gotham history to have its very own Tickle Monster," chuckled one of the henchmen.

The Joker laughed like a maniac as he thought about what was going to happen in the near future.

 **~ More chapters to come! Thanks for reading and be sure to comment. ~**


	2. Chapter 2

The wedding was a festive and dignified occasion. All the prominent citizens of Gotham City were there to celebrate the marriage of Mayor Linseed's nephew. The millionaire Bruce Wayne and his youthful ward Dick Grayson were there. Aunt Harriet came too, but their butler Alfred stayed home to take care of the mansion. Other guests included Commissioner Gordon and his daughter Barbara.

The villains lurked outside the building. The Joker used a power drill to make a hole in the wall. He peeked inside and saw people dancing to slow music. He giggled to himself. "This party needs some razzle dazzle and I know just how to do it!" With that, he drilled an even bigger hole in the wall. He made the hole big enough to put his arm through.

"What are you going to do, Joker?" asked Dolly.

"Watch and see," Joker said, grinning evilly. He stuck his arm into the hole and groped around. None of the wedding guests noticed the intruding arm. A young couple danced their way over to the wall and Joker's hand reached out and tickled the woman's side. She yelped and jumped into her boyfriend's arms.

"What's the matter?" the guy asked.

"Something grabbed me!" she explained.

The Joker withdrew his arm quickly. The couple saw the hole in the wall and went over to investigate.

"Where in the world did this come from?" asked the lady.

"I don't know…but let's get out of here before we get blamed for it."

Back outside, the villains were still formulating their devious plan.

"This is no good!" Penguin seethed. "How are we supposed to make our fortune through a hole in the wall? Unless some guy wanders over here with his back to us and has a wallet in his rear pocket…"

"Keep your monocle on, Pengy," Joker whispered. "We're going inside."

"Oh, Joker, people will recognize you instantly," Dolly pointed out.

"I realize that, Doll-puss. That's why I brought these…" With that, Joker produced several black sacks and threw them at his associates. "Put these over your heads and nobody will know it's us."

"We won't be able to see where we're going," complained a goonie.

"I cut holes in them, okay?" Joker said, impatiently.

Meanwhile, back in the wedding party, the guests continued dancing and drinking champagne. The mayor walked over to Bruce and Dick to shake their hands.

"Congratulations on your nephew's wedding, Mayor," Bruce said, smiling.

"Yes, I'm very proud," Mayor Linseed replied. "I only wish the Caped Crusaders could have been here."

Bruce and Dick looked at each other. "Well, uh, you know how busy crime-fighters are, Mayor."

"Indeed I do…but if they happen to drop by, I'd be more than happy to split a glass of champagne with them."

At that moment, six uninvited figures walked into the party. They had black sacks over their heads. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the intruders.

"Hello! Hello! We're here to make a show!" Joker sing-songed.

Everyone looked at them curiously. Dick whispered in Bruce's ear, "Doesn't he sound a lot like Joker?"

Bruce nodded. "Stay on your toes, Dick. I have a bad feeling about this."

One of the hooded figures strode around, waving his umbrella. "It's a good thing we're here. We may not be invited, but the life of a party seldom is! Waughwauhwaugh…"

Dick's eyes widened. "Bruce, that sounds like…"

"I know, old chum."

"My goodness, do you know these people, Bruce?" asked Aunt Harriet.

"Maybe, Aunt Harriet. Maybe…"

Dick tugged on Bruce's sleeve. "Should we get them?" he whispered.

"Let's wait and see what their scheme is," Bruce answered.

The intruder who sounded like Joker leapt around the room and made a spectacle of himself. He laughed a laugh that was unmistakable.

"My word! That's The Joker!" said Commissioner Gordon.

Dick was really getting restless. "Bruce, we need to stop them."

"We have come to entertain all you lovely people!" said a feminine voice from beneath one of the hoods.

"Nice move, Dolly," Joker whispered to her. "We'll lure them into a false sense of safety."

"Are you really here to entertain us?" asked Barbara Gordon. "Because you don't look very entertaining to me."

"For this show to begin," Joker said, "I will need a volunteer from the audience!"

Nobody volunteered. Nobody moved.

"Come on now…don't be bashful. Who's going to help me get this show on the road?"

"How about that young fella over there?" Dolly suggested, pointing at Dick Grayson.

"Me?" Dick asked, surprised.

"Yes, yes, come forward," Joker beckoned him. "Don't be afraid. You're among friends."

"I seriously doubt that," Dick muttered as he strode over to the hooded intruders.

Bruce was very concerned now. He waited intensively to see what game these criminals were about to play.

The Joker stood behind Dick and pinched his cheeks. Dick pushed his hands with a sneer. "Don't do anything you'll regret," the boy warned.

"Now, now, don't be nervous!" Joker laughed. "Let's turn that frown upside down!" With that, Joker lowered his hands to Dick's waist and began squeezing his sides and hips.

Dick tried desperately not to react but a stupid grin appeared on his face anyway. He began squirming and wiggling, trying to escape Joker's grasp. "No…s-stop."

"Cootchie cootchie coo!" Joker taunted as he attacked Dick's ribs.

"Quit it! Nohohoho! Stahahap!" Dick giggled, blushing with embarrassment as the audience burst out laughing.

Bruce looked on in utter confusion. He had never seen Joker behave this way before.

Dick went down to his knees, laughing his head off. The Joker tickled him everywhere he could reach. In doing so, Joker reached into the boy's pocket and swiped his wallet. Nobody noticed this.

"STOP! STOP IT! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Robin cackled.

The Joker just laughed and continued tickling him relentless.

Finally, Dick managed to get away and he ran to Bruce for protection. He was out of breath and his cheeks were flushed.

"Who's next? Who's next?!" Joker grinned, wriggling his fingers at the stunned audience. "There's plenty more where that came from!"

"Save some tickles for Batman, boss!" said a henchman.

"Of course! Speaking of Batman, where is that crime-fighting menace?" Joker asked, looking over the crowd.

"He didn't come tonight," said Barbara.

"Oh dear…what a shame. Oh well, I'll just have to tickle so, so, so many people that Batman will have to show up just to save you! Mwahahaha!"

Then Dick realized something. "Bruce, my wallet is gone! Joker must have taken it!"

"I have a feeling you're right, old chum," Bruce replied.

"So that's what Joker's game is…We have to stop him!"

"Right. Let's go."

The Joker hopped over to Mayor Linseed and gave him a playful nudge. "How about it, Mayor? You look like you could use a laugh!"

"Well I, uh…"

"I can give you the best tickling you ever had!" Joker offered with glee.

Mayor Linseed tried to remain calm. "Now, Joker, let's be reasonable about this."

"Reasonable?! Bite your tongue! I'm here to play!" Joker laughed.

"Mr. Joker, please…"

"Can it!" Joker snapped. "Now lay down on the floor and raise your arms! Lift them high over your head."

"I will not!"

"NOW! Or I shall have to use force."

Mayor Linseed started to hyperventilate. He loosened his tie and wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. His heart was racing. "Please don't do this to me," he begged.

The Joker was growing impatient. He motioned for his three henchmen to come forward. He ordered them to pin the mayor to the floor and hold his arms up.

"Wait! Stop! Have mercy!" begged Mayor Linseed.

The henchmen knocked him to the ground and restrained him. They immobilized his arms and legs by sitting on them. Then Joker came up and wiggled his fingers menacingly.

Suddenly, Batman and Robin burst into the room. "Stop right there, Joker!"

The villains turned around. They took the sacks off their heads and grinned at the Caped Crusaders.

"Ah, Batman! I'm so glad you could make it," Joker giggled, pushing his henchmen forward. "GET THEM!"

All of the wedding guests cleared the room when the fight broke out between Batman and Joker. Fists and chairs and tables flew through the air.

The Joker picked up the wedding cake and threw it at Batman, but he dodged just in time and the cake landed on one of the henchmen instead.

Barbara Gordon snuck out the back exit and put on her Batgirl costume. She then rushed back in to help Batman and Robin fight the criminals. When a henchman came up to attack her, she kicked him in the gut.

Penguin and Dolly ran up to Robin and tickled him mercilessly. They tickled his sides, thighs, ribs, and under his arms.

"GAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BATMAN! HELP!" Robin shrieked.

Batman was wrestling on the floor with Joker. "Hold on, old chum!"

Robin fell down on his back and kicked at his assailants. Penguin sat on his legs to immobilize them, while Dolly sat on his arms to pin them over his head. Then the two villains inflicted brutal tickle torture on the boy. Dolly scribbled her fingers on his ribcage and armpits and neck. Penguin tickled his thighs, hips, and sides.

Robin went ballistic with laughter. "HEEHEEHEEHEEHEHEHEEHE! NOOOO! B-BATMAN! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH PLEASE HELP!"

Batman threw a punch at Joker that sent him flying across the room. Then Batman rushed to the aid of his young friend. He grabbed Penguin and punched him in the face. He pushed Dolly away with more ease. Then he helped Robin to his feet.

"Are you alright?" Batman asked him.

Robin was sweating and giggling stupidly. "I…I think so."

The Joker crept up behind Batman and jumped on his back, pulling him down to the floor. Two henchmen restrained Robin and Batgirl so they couldn't interfere.

"Pengy! Dolly! Help me hold him down!" Joker called.

Batman struggled as the villains fought to pin him. The two goonies holding Robin and Batgirl quickly tied them up with wedding garland and threw them in a corner. Then they ran over to help with Batman.

With all the criminals working together, they managed to restrain Batman and secure him to the floor. They stretched him out in an X shape. The Joker was so happy to finally have caught his most powerful enemy.

"Get ready to be tickled, Batman!" Joker said as he loomed over the helpless hero.

"You don't scare me," Batman sneered, looking up into Joker's grinning face.

The Joker laughed wickedly and lowered his hands to Batman's ribs. This was the moment he had been waiting for since forever. He was a little disappointed that Batman showed no signs of fear, but that didn't matter so much. The main thing was that he was going to pay for all those times he sent Joker to prison. Revenge was such a sweet treat.

The Joker couldn't wait another second. He dug his fingers into Batman's ribs and tickled him furiously.

Batman didn't react.

Joker frowned. He moved up to Batman's armpits and scribbled his fingers in the hollows. The hero didn't even flinch. The Joker was growing frustrated. He tickled harder all over Batman's torso. He tickled his ribs, stomach, sides, and armpits with great desperation. He finally gave up with a defeated grumble.

"Why, Joker…don't tell me you've given up," taunted Batman.

"You may have won this round, Batman!" Joker seethed. "But I'll find some way to make you pay for humiliating me all these years!"

Robin and Batgirl managed to free themselves and pounced on the villains once again. Another battle ensued and the fiendish criminals were defeated. The police arrived soon afterward and hauled them off to jail, but not before Robin got his wallet back from Joker.

When the trouble was over, Batgirl disappeared through the back exit.

"Well, that was different," Batman said, referring to the chaos that Joker had caused.

"That was terrible," Robin said, shuddering. "I'm so glad you're not ticklish, Batman."

Then they looked around and noticed that Batgirl had vanished.

"She's gone, Batman," Robin said, filled with confusion. "For once, let's follow her. I'm just dying to know who she really is!"

"No, Robin." Batman shook his head.

"Yeah…I guess you're right," the boy admitted. "We should respect her secret identity."

"Exactly, old chum."

"Do you think Joker will try anything like this again?"

"Well, he's going to be behind bars for a while," Batman said.

Robin nodded. "Let's just hope he and Penguin don't escape."


End file.
